Ghost Love Score
by theescapist99
Summary: MCR story. The slaughter of Gerard Way's marriage came with more casualties than intended. Frerard eventually. Also on Ficwad.
1. Falling Down

A/N: ALRIGHT, READ THIS FIRST. So, I decided to post it, but bear in mind: THIS IS A HORRIBLE STORY. Horrible, horrible, horrible. It's just plain sick. I am like, a terrible person. Seriously. So don't say I didn't warn you.

Okay, now that that's out of the way: If you're still interested, enjoy. :3

P.S. This particular chapter maybe a bit NSFW.

Chapter One: Falling Down.

Flashes. Flashes were everywhere as people took pictures of the happy couple. It was Lindsey and Gerard Way's anniversary, and a party was being held. Lindsey held on to Gerard's arm, both of them smiling and posing for the cameras. Everyone was dressed for the occasion. Lindsey kept it classy, a little black dress with her blonde hair tied up in a bun, decorated with a red rose pin. Gerard was wearing his suit and tie. Typically, they didn't go for things like this, but Lindsey had thought it would be fun to dress up a little, and Gerard was more than happy to oblige. Whatever he could do to make her happy. After all, his time with her was running out: My Chemical Romance was scheduled to enter the studio soon, and begin preparations for a new album. For now, however, they remained on a break - and Gerard intended to savor every minute he could spend with his family.

Lindsey on the other hand, was not feeling so determined. As she planted a kiss on the cheek of her grinning husband, she thought about how she wanted nothing more than to get out. Retreat to her room. Away from these people. Away from Gerard. It wasn't necessarily anything anyone did, but lately Lindsey had been feeling a sense of hopelessness. She had fallen into an inexplicable depression that seemed to have no end. The fun and excitement of being in love with the famous and beautiful Gerard Way that she had felt just months before was nowhere to be found.

Lindsey felt tears well up in her eyes. Oh no. She was not going to cry. Not now, in front of all these people. Not now, when her make - up was so perfect. Gerard looked at her, and she knew he could see it. His face fell.

He had caught her a few times before in the past weeks. Crying in a dark corner, wallowing in her depression. He had begged her to tell him what was wrong. And that made her cry even harder, because in truth: she herself didn't know what was wrong. All she knew was that she would give some thought to how she had been feeling lately, and it would cause her to burst out into sobs.

Gerard pulled her over to a corner by their staircase.

"What's the matter?", he asked softly, looking at her worriedly. Lindsey hated doing this to her husband. She knew he was returning to work soon, and they had limited time to spend together. She didn't want that time to be spent having conversations like this.

"What do you mean?", she asked back, trying to play dumb.

"You're crying again...", Gerard frowned.

"No sweetie, don't be silly.", she faked a smile.

"Was it something I did?"

Lindsey nearly rolled her eyes. A big part of why she couldn't open up to Gerard was his need to automatically assume it's his fault. She knew Gerard long enough to know you couldn't really tell Gerard your problems or issues without him twisting it some weird way where he could beat himself up over it. She wanted Gerard to have as little involvement with this as possible. She wasn't pushing him away. She was protecting him. Or at least, that's what she'd liked to have thought.

Putting her hands on both sides of his face, and looking straight into his eyes, she insisted, "Baby! Nothing. Is. Wrong. Now, c'mon people are looking for us."

"Okay.", said Gerard, accepting the answer. Lindsey planted a quick kiss on his lips and led them back into the crowd of their own party.

Hours later, a very weary Lindsey checked on Bandit. She walked into B's room, and up to the crib quietly, careful not to wake her. She looked down at her sleeping angel, but she did not smile. That was one of the first indicators to Lindsey that something was wrong. When just weeks ago, she looked at her baby Bandit, but she did not smile. Bandit never failed to make her smile before. Just the sight of her. But lately, not a single facial muscle twitched or moved upon seeing her precious baby. It broke her heart. Sighing, she pulled Bandit's blanket over her a little more. Then, she felt a pair of arms snake around her waist.

"Have I told you how amazing you look in that dress?", Gerard's voice whispered in her ear. Lindsey chuckled.

"Only about a hundred times.", she muttered back to him. She felt his hand grab the hem of it, sliding his palm up her leg.

"That's not nearly enough.", he purred as he scooped her up. She giggled as he carried her to their master bedroom.

Not bothering to close the door behind them, Gerard plopped Lindsey onto their mattress. Lindsey grinned and grabbed Gerard by his necktie, yanking him closer to her. Their lips collided. Their tongues clashed and wrestled with each other. They both tasted of alcohol and garlic from the hors d'oeuvres that had been served earlier. Gerard simultaneously used his hands to begin stripping Lindsey's dress off. She aided him in removing the bra, and he cupped her breasts, caressing them hungrily. He released himself from Lindsey's mouth and lowered himself to suck on her nipples, and she moaned with pleasure.

Gerard hastily undressed himself, and Lindsey smiled at his eagerness. Once they were both bare naked Gerard continued to please and pleasure Lindsey with his notably large tongue. From her breasts to her belly button, to the sweetness of her clit.

"Mmmm, Gerard..." she groaned. She gasped as he began to finger her, moving two of his fingers around in her wetness. He inserted them in and out slowly, wanting to prolong her pleasure. She was soaking by the time he was done.

Gerard advanced on top of her, ready to submerge himself. He looked down on his wife, her hair now splashed wildly upon the pillow. Her porcelain skin and her gorgeous features, reflected in the moonlight that shone through the window. He leaned in and kissed her.

"Happy anniversary baby.", Gerard smiled before plunging himself in.

"You want the regular Cheetos or the hot Cheetos?"

Lindsey watched Gerard think long and hard about it. His face even crunched up a little.

"Mmmm... hot.", he exclaimed, finally reaching a conclusion.

"Alright. Well I'll be right back.", she nodded, extending her hand out. Gerard put a large wad of cash into it, which she pocketed.

"Love you.", Gerard kissed his wife.

"Love you too.", she kissed back and walked out of the house. Putting on her sunglasses, she got into her car and drove to the supermarket.

An hour or so later she was finished, but she had one more stop. Lindsey drove for a good 15 minutes before she found her destination. The apartment complex on Fifth and Citrus. She got out of the car, walked through the gate, and knocked on the fourth door. A younger man greeted her, who looked to be in his earlier twenties. He was lanky and had a gaunt appearance with sunken eyes. He handed her a small ziplock bag which Lindsey stuffed in her purse and he sent her off.

Back in her car, Lindsey pulled the bag which the man had handed her out of her purse. She smiled at it.

Sweet, sweet cocaine.

Stuffing it into an inner pocket of her purse, she started the car and drove home, now feeling confident she could face another day.

Next chapter: Lindsey fails to shield Gerard from what he was bound to see.


	2. Where The River Ends

Chapter Two: Where The River Ends.

3 weeks later.

"CLEAN THIS MESS UP NOW!"

Lindsey was glaring at Gerard murderously. He and Bandit had been having a bit of fun with finger painting in the kitchen when she had come back from her daily errands, and unfortunately some of it had splattered on the floor and the table. Even still, Lindsey was having a rather harsh reaction.

"We're not finished with B's painting! I'll clean it up after, I promi -"

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. All you two ever fucking do is mess up my house when I work so fucking hard to keep it clean!", she shrieked.

"Okay! Okay! I'm sorry…", Gerard scrambled to clean up the work station. He wanted to get away from her as quickly as possible. In his rush, he knocked over a whole cup of black paint and spilt it on the maroon carpet. He looked at it in horror, knowing he was going to pay for that.

"You fucking idiot!", Lindsey screamed in frustration, smacking him in the head. He yelped.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!", Gerard cowered at his wife's fury. In the corner, they could hear that Bandit had started crying again.

Gerard made to go bring Bandit to her room, but Lindsey, seeing what he was about to do, scooped her up first.

"I'll do it.", she scowled, "You can't do anything right."

Gerard backed off reluctantly as she walked out of the kitchen with a very tense Bandit in her arms. Sighing, Gerard got out some wet towels and started cleaning, taking some relief that Lindsey had left. He had never fathomed that he would ever feel such a way, but lately his wife's moods had become something to be feared. He wasn't sure what had gotten into her. Gerard had noticed a sadness in her a while back. He had tried to talk to her, tried to figure out what had made the beautiful smile he loved so much disappear, but he had failed. Now her sadness had turned into anger, and he remained just as confused. He had mentally retraced his steps over and over, trying to remember if he had done something wrong. So far, he hadn't had any luck.

Maybe she just didn't love him anymore?

Gerard started wiping a smudge of paint rather furiously as he blinked back tears.

They were eating dinner. KFC was what was on the table, and everyone was eating their fried chicken in silence. Gerard hated silence, but it was better than all they yelling they had been doing lately. Apparently, Bandit didn't like silence as well.

"Godzilla!", she yelled merrily. Godzilla had been introduced to her a few months ago via her uncle Frank. Every now and then, Bandit liked to play "Godzilla" by pretending she was a giant monster who destroyed everything in her path. As one could imagine, this never ended well for the area she playing was in or the people she was playing around.

"No, no Godzilla." , Gerard shook his head at her. He knew where this would lead if he didn't stop her now.

"GODZILLA!", Bandit screamed even louder, taking a handful of mash potatoes and throwing into the wall opposite her.

"BANDIT!", Lindsey screamed furiously. Gerard quickly got up and went to go put Bandit into her room before the situation escalated any further. As he lifted her from behind, Bandit still had not decided to finish playing. She took her plate of chopped up chicken pieces and flipped it into the ground.

"RAWR!", Bandit chirped.

Lindsey advanced on her.

"You little brat!", she screamed and the sharp sound of a slap rang through the room.

Lindsey stared in shock. She had just hit her own daughter. She barely had time to register the thought before an angry Gerard came upon her, having put down Bandit, who was now in tears once more.

"How fucking dare you…", Gerard growled menacingly. Lindsey started backing away fearfully – there was something frightening in his eyes, where kindness usually showed. He was getting close. She tried to push him away. He grabbed both her wrists and pinned her against the table. She roved her eyes over him. His chest was heaving. She stayed silent, knowing she had already pushed him over the edge. He seemed to be making a decision. She could feel his breath on her face.

He grunted and released her roughly before turning his back and walking away.

Lindsey was driving home from another pick up. Ryan, her dealer, had been generous tonight and she couldn't wait to get home and have at some of that lovely white powder. She hadn't gotten much of a chance with Gerard in the house, which added to her cranky moods. But tonight he was out with a friend of his, and she had the house all to herself. She sped through the night faster, her excitement growing stronger.

Fifteen minutes later she was home, and she slammed the door behind her in relief, walking quickly up the stairs to the master bedroom. She swung the door open and shoved her hand into her purse, pulling out the little baggie when a voice stopped her dead in her tracks.

"What'cha got there?"

Lindsey looked up in horror to see Gerard sitting cross legged on the bed, staring at her with a dark expression on his face.

"What are you doing here?", was all she managed to say.

"Andrew cancelled.", Gerard answered as he got off the bed and walked over her. "Let me see what's in your purse."

"Why?", Lindsey found herself backing away from Gerard again.

"Just let me see.", he said, his voice calm but firm.

Gerard grabbed for her bag, and she fought to pull it away, but Gerard was determined. He struggled with her for under a minute before he managed to grab it, reach into it, and pull out the baggie of cocaine inside almost immediately.

"I fucking knew it."

Lindsey gauged her husband's reaction. He looked disappointed rather than angry.

"It's only this once!", Lindsey insisted.

"Don't do that Linds… I know what the signs of having an addiction are. I, after all, am an addict. I can tell. I've suspected for a while now."

"I'm sorry…", she breathed out, knowing there was no point in arguing.

"Just… why?", Gerard frowned, "I thought we were both over this kind of stuff. What changed?"

"I don't know Gerard…"

Lindsey looked at her husband and had to suppress tears, her heart sinking at his sad expression.

"..I guess I just wasn't as happy as I thought I was."

Next chapter: Mikey's confused. Gerard is heartbroken. And Lindsey won't see any of it.


	3. Numb & Dumb

Chapter Three: Numb And Dumb

"Mikey?"

"Hey Gee, what's up?"

"Um, I don't think I can make it to the studio next week. You guys can start recording without me, but I don't think I'll be in for a couple more weeks."

"What, why?"

"Dealing with some stuff with my family."

"Well, what's going on?"

"It's kinda personal, Mikes."

"And since when did your personal life not include your brother?"

"It's not that, I just have a lot going on right now."

"Well the more I should know, shouldn't I?"

"Mikey... okay... please... don't take it like that. I'll talk to you later. Just tell the other guys yeah?"

"Okay, Gerard. I'll let them know. And hey..."

"What?"

"You're okay, right?"

"Yeah, Mikey, I'm okay."

"Good."

"Later, Mikey."

"Bye Gee."

Gerard hung up the phone and laid his head back on the living room couch. He had hoped it wouldn't come to this, but it appeared to be unavoidable. He had to postpone his recordings for the new album, probably dragging the entire project down by at least two weeks.

He and Lindsey had agreed they were going to work on getting Lindsey clean together. That they were going to take this thing down before it grew any bigger with teamwork. But Lindsey had made little to no effort. She continued to disappear at random times. She continued to have erratic moods. And now that Gerard knew, she seemed to be doing it even more as she had nothing to hide. Gerard was at a loss as to what to do. He certainly did not want to leave Bandit alone with this woman who he no longer recognized.

Glimpses of the Lindsey he knew and loved came to surface every now and then, and she seemed lost and confused. Frightened and nervous. Unfortunately, Gerard was no longer sure if these moments only came up as an act, to win over his sympathy whenever Lindsey knew he was getting frustrated. Damn him for being a sucker for puppy dog eyes.

He felt his phone vibrate, and he checked the screen. It was a text from Frank:

'Mikey just called, you okay?'

Frank. His best friend. Gerard felt guilty at having a slight urge to tell Frank what he refused to tell Mikey. Mikey did have a bit more of a right to know than Frank did. But it just seemed like Frank was the one who always knew how to make him feel better. Always knew just what to say. Especially now that he was a family man, taking care of two baby girls. Once put in that position, the responsible thing to do was to grow up. Make yourself someone your children can seek guidance from and look up to. Frank was great for that role.

Clearly, Gerard thought, a role he himself had failed at.

He was a horrible person.

A horrible, horrible person.

It was all Gerard could think as he cradled a crying Bandit, who was screaming for her mother. Lindsey had come home at 3 AM from a party, high as all hell and had passed out in their room right away. Not too long after, Bandit had awoken from a bad dream. Gerard had tried to feed her and change her, tickle her and play with her, but nothing worked. She wanted her mother who couldn't be bothered.

He shouldn't have had a family.

Now he's doomed Lindsey and Bandit both. He's dragged them into this stupid attempt at happiness that he obviously wasn't equipped to handle. He didn't deserve the privilege of fatherhood. Or marriage. And now God was punishing him for trying, Lindsey and Bandit being the innocent bystanders that were going down along with him.

"I'm so sorry…", he whispered as he looked down into his daughters tear filled eyes.

She continued to cry, and not too long after, he began to cry with her.

It was another night. It was 7 AM. And Gerard was really beginning to panic. His wife had not come home. She typically never stayed out later than 4. He was driving towards the location of the party she said she had gone. He had left Bandit with their neighborhood friends, claiming an emergency. Nervous, he almost hit a few cars on the way. Or maybe they were the ones almost hitting him. It was a Saturday night, and drunk drivers were everywhere. Finally, he arrived at his destination. A suburban looking home with many cars parked around it. He knew the man who lived here. Bobby, a long term friend of Lindsey's. They used to hang out a lot more back when Lindsey was a constant user. Gerard never liked him much.

Gerard walked up to the porch to see the door was already an inch open. He let himself in, and was greeted with the sight of a living room with people passed out all over it. He walked through them, careful not to step on anyone, looking to see if any of them were his wife. After walking through a few rooms, he was about ready to turn back when he felt a hand latch on to his shoulder. He jumped.

"Where you going pretty boy?", he heard a voice growl behind him. Gerard felt himself being spun around. It was Bobby. The dark brown pupils barely visible between his long black hair were as huge as saucers. Bobby was a rather scruffy looking fellow, so being cornered by this man while he was quite obviously hopped up on meth was not a position you want to be found in.

"Bobby.", Gerard acknowledged, trying not to let his intimidation show. "Where…. Where's my wife? Where's Lindsey?"

Bobby grinned crookedly. "Oh, she left a while back sweetie. But that's okay. You're much prettier."

It was only then did Gerard realize Bobby had nearly backed him into the wall behind him. He swallowed.

"Alright, um… I'll just be going then.", Gerard tried to get away, but Bobby slammed him into the wall.

"Not so fast, babe." Bobby hissed before shoving his mouth against Gerard's unwilling mouth, using a hand to pry Gerard's jaw open so he could insert his tongue inside. Bobby moved his hands down to Gerard neck and pressed both his thumbs down into his Adam's apple hard. He pushed into it slowly, taking his sweet time. As Gerard struggled against his grip, Bobby snickered.

"I have a bit of an asphyxiation fetish.", he smirked. "As your wife would know all too well…"

Gerard glared at him and screamed, "GET OFF!" before he gave Bobby a particularly hard kick to the leg, finally paining him enough to get him to release him.

"AGH! You little fuck!", Bobby screamed. Luckily, he was hurt enough to give Gerard an opportunity to run for it. Gee fled quickly out of the house, stumbling over a couple of passed out partiers on the way. He ran into his car, and started it quickly, his heart racing. Finally, he sped off.

Gerard tried to calm himself. He wondered if he should head back home, maybe she would already be there? Unfortunately their home was a good 30 minutes away, and if he went back and she still wasn't home, he would be back to square one. Gerard decided to drive around the area, see if he could spot her walking or hanging around anywhere.

He circled the block a few times, going into some cul-de-sacs. It was already nearly 8. He was getting rather tired, as he hadn't gotten any sleep for the night.

Then finally, he saw her.

Lindsey Way was sitting on a curb near a gutter, her shoulders slumped and her head down. Gerard pulled over immediately, and got out. He walked over to her and bent down.

"Linds?", he prodded.

She looked up at him. Her pupils were even bigger than Bobby's had been. She looked completely dazed.

"Lindsey, c'mon, we gotta go back home.", Gerard tried helping her up. She snatched her arm away.

"Who are you?", Lindsey asked in a dreamy voice.

"What?", Gerard was extremely confused.

"Who…?", she cocked her head to the side. Gerard's heart broke. She didn't recognize him.

Sighing, he tried a different approach and lifted her up by the armpits, slinging her over his shoulder.

"Get off, you smelly man!", Lindsey kicked and struggled, although very weakly. Gerard stuffed her into the passenger's seat of the car and got into the driver's, taking a minute to close his eyes and get a grip on himself before starting the ignition. He needed the guys. He needed a drink. He needed a hit.

He needed something.

Lindsey awoke to daylight, and the warm comfort of her bed sheets. What had happened last night? She went through the events in her head, but they were blurry and vague. She only remembered going to Bobby's house, but not much else after that. She looked over to the side and saw Gerard was absent. Getting up groggily, she wandered over to the bathroom. Only now did she feel a throbbing head ache come upon her. She tried to walk quicker, and saw the door was already open. She peered inside.

Gerard was seated on the edge of the bathtub. He was digging a knife into his own skin. Blood was running in thin lines down his arms. It sounded as though he was muttering to himself. Lindsey stepped back and Gerard heard her. He looked up at her, and she stared back at him. There was a long moment of silence before Lindsey simply turned an\d walked away, closing the door behind her.

Next chapter: Gerard gets a surprise visit, and Lindsey takes things a bit far.


	4. Two For Tragedy

Chapter Four: Two For Tragedy

Gerard pressed the blade against his skin again, applying pressure until he achieved penetration. He watched the blood pour over like liquid in an over filled cup. The pain stung, and he closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation. He thought of the guys in the band, how they would react to know he was cutting again. Perhaps the same way he had reacted when he realized Lindsey was using again. Lindsey had walked in on him, only to walk away cold and uncaring. Perhaps the guys would have the same reaction. Perhaps the world saw as he did, that he deserved to be punished.

He sliced into himself again.

2 weeks later.

"Give me my money, you little shit!"

Gerard ducked as another picture frame flew in his direction, smashing against the bedroom wall. He cowered in front of his fuming wife. It was the first time he was refusing to give her money, insisting he would do the errands himself. If the objects flying at his head were an indication of anything, she was highly displeased.

"Give it to me!", she shrieked, throwing their ceramic penguin at him. Gerard began to feel peeved.

"You think I'm stupid? You think I don't know what you'll use it for?", he scowled.

"I'm putting it to far better use than your ass!"

"Oh, you mean food? Yeah, real useless stuff Linds, I mean who the fuck needs to eat?"

"Such a fatass!" Lindsey taunted, "All you think of is yourself! What about my needs?"

"YOUR NEEDS ARE RUINING THIS FAMILY!", Gerard shrieked.

They both seemed startled at Gerard's little outburst. Lindsey glared and crossed her arms.

"Oh, so when it's MY needs, when it's MY happiness, it ruins our family, but when YOU wanna get fat on food or invest in your stupid comic books, then it's of importance! Well, you know what Gerard? Go get your food, get fat all over again, see if anyone'll give two shits about you afterwards. I sure won't."

Gerard stared at her for a while before pursing his lips and muttering "Fine.". He grabbed his jacket, walked out of the room and began to head down the stairs, when suddenly he felt two hands grab his shoulders roughly and shove him down the staircase. His head the steps repeatedly before he blacked out.

"So what exactly happened again?"

"He slipped on one of Bandit's toys and fell down the stairs, poor dear."

Gerard was barely coming to when he heard familiar voices conversing. One of them was unmistakably his wife, and the other sounded like... Mikey? What on earth was he doing here? Oh dear god, had he found out anything?

Gerard forced himself to sit up, his head was spinning. He wondered how long he'd been out. He peered out the window and saw it was dark outside. He got off the bed and wandered outside the room. Mikey and Lindsey were standing just outside the door. Lindsey looked annoyed.

"Mikey? What are you doing here?", Gerard interrupted them.

"Gee.", Mikey smiled, wrapping his arms around his brother. "I came 'cause you worried me on the phone a few weeks back. They don't need me in the studio for another week anyway."

"Oh. Well you really didn't have to Mikes.", Gerard returned his brother's hug and faked a smile, "I'm fine, really."

"Well either way… I missed you." Mikey grinned back.

"I missed you too bro."

Lindsey put a hand on Gerard's arm as though to remind them of her presence.

"How're you feeling babe?", she asked Gee, "You had quite a fall there."

"Um…my head hurts a bit but other than that, I'm okay. Thanks.", Gerard explained uneasily.

"Aw, I'm glad.", Lindsey smiled. "How about I order us some pizza?"

"Oh…" Mikey interrupted, "Well if it's okay with you Linds, I was kinda hoping to have some alone time with Gee. Thought he and I could go out to dinner and catch up and what not."

"Oh, that's fine!", Lindsey nodded. "Here, babe."

Lindsey pulled out a large wad of cash from her jeans pocket. She picked out a twenty dollar bill from it and handed it over to Gerard. He could have sworn he saw her smirk.

"Just to make sure you have enough, since you left all your cash with me."

"Of course, darling." Gerard tried to sound as snide as possible, without being obvious.

"Well, I got some stuff to take care of anyway. Have fun, boys!", Lindsey planted a kiss on Gerard's lips, "Love you, babe."

"Love you too.", he smiled at her as she walked away.

Mikey took Gerard to an Applebee's a few blocks away. They chatted away over dinner and drinks. Mikey told Gerard how the other guys have been, how they had all been concerned at his strange phone call postponing his studio time. Gerard insisted things were never better, but Mikey couldn't help but feel that he was lying. Having as close of a brotherly relationship as they did, Mikey could sense when something was wrong and vice versa. At the very least, Gerard seemed weary and exhausted. He smiled weak smiles and laughed faint laughs. His eyes were unusually baggy. He was quiet, letting Mikey dominate the conversation, which was very uncharacteristic.

Was this another depression spell?

Mikey certainly hoped that was not the case. Aside from the general bad noise that came with depression spells, there was also the fact that they had an album they had to record soon. Certainly not the best time. Mikey tried to touch on all Gee's favorite subjects. Tried to make him laugh. But alas, to no avail. Mikey sighed and took another sip of his long island ice tea.

They came home around 1 AM. Gerard was now a little buzzed and a bit more chipper. Mikey was fine with him having the occasional recreational drink, so long as he didn't get too carried away. Plus, he was just relieved to see his brother wasn't too far gone. They had just agreed to play a game of Warhammer when Gerard mentioned he should tell Lindsey they were home.

"Linds?", he called out her name. "Linds? You here? We're home!"

Gerard went off to their room to check if she was in, and Mikey used this time to get out their cards when he heard a horrible scream.

Mikey ran up to the bedroom quickly. When he got up there, he could see the light on in the bathroom. He heard Gerard screaming, "WHAT DID YOU DO?" repeatedly. He heard Lindsey crying. Mikey ran inside and saw Gerard holding a naked, soaked Bandit in his arms with red prints around her tiny neck. The bathtub was overflowing with water. Lindsey was on her knees, crying hysterically and screaming that she was sorry. Gerard was sobbing. Bandit wasn't breathing.

Next chapter: Frank.


	5. Sancta Terra

A/N: Alrighty folks this is the last pre-written chapter I have for this story. So from here on end, I'll just be updating whenever I actually get around to writing. That and I'm actually thinking of changing the planned ending for this story. It might be a bit too messed up. We shall see.

Chapter Five: Sancta Terra

In their hospital room, Gerard watched over Bandit. She was stable. Gerard had been able to give her mouth to mouth resuscitation before the ambulance arrived, and had gotten her breathing again. They were keeping her at the hospital for overnight observation, and so far everything seemed okay as far as Bandit's health went. But the mental and emotional state of things otherwise were far from okay. Lindsey had been arrested. Gerard was extremely distressed. Mikey wanted answers.

"Lindsey's been on a lot of drugs lately...", Gerard explained to Mikey, "She's been having these really weird moods. I never expected this though..."

Mikey ran his hands through his hair, trying to wrap himself around this whole situation.

"Why was she on drugs in the first place?", he asked.

"I don't know... she said she just wasn't very... happy. She said she'd stop. I tried to set up marriage counseling for us, I tried to help, but I don't know. She didn't try to change for even a second, it's like she gave up before she even started 'ya know?"

"Why didn't you call me earlier, Gee?"

"Agh... I didn't want to drag you into this chaos. I fucked up my marriage, not you. It's my mess to clean up."

Mikey looked at Bandit and muttered. "Yeah, I can see your doing a great job of that so far."

Gerard said nothing, but Mikey took one look good look at his face and knew he was trying not to cry. He kicked himself.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Mikey pulled his brother into a hug, and Gerard started sobbing openly into his shoulder. Mikey rubbed Gerard's back soothingly. "I know it's hard. But I'm here now, and I'm ready to give you all the help you need."

Gerard cried into Mikey a bit longer before backing away, although he still kept his head down.

"Tomorrow I'm going to see what I can do about Lindsey..." Gerard sighed, "See if I can't get her into a rehab or something by plea bargaining. Watch Bandit for me? It should only take like an hour."

"Sure, Gerard. I'll do whatever you want. Just no more secrets. " Mikey scolded. "Now. Is there anything that's been going on that I should know about?"

Instantly, Gerard thought of his recent reunion with self-mutilation. But that wasn't really a big deal, right? They had bigger things to worry about right now anyway.

Gerard shook his head.

"Nope, nothing at all Mikes."

The plea bargaining worked. The judge agreed to send Lindsey to 3 months of rehab in exchange for a guilty plea, although Lindsey suspected that Gerard may have flashed a few dollars in the judge's fat, greedy face as well. She had seen Gerard at the trial, but he didn't speak a word to her. He wouldn't even look at her. While in a way, she understood, it still felt unbearable. Lindsey was scared, and unsure of what the future held for her. Gerard had been her support for nearly everything for years, but it felt like he was turning away from her when she needed him the most. And the worst part was that she knew she had no one to blame but herself. Lindsey did not fight the sentence. Lindsey did not try to argue anything. She knew she had gone too far and there was nothing left to do now but to receive the punishment.

The first week in, Gerard came to the facility to bring Lindsey a few personal belongings. He had been searched thoroughly upon arrival, asked to leave his cellphone behind. While he knew this was procedure for every visitor, in order to be sure no one brought in drugs or alcohol, Gerard couldn't help but feel that he was particularly mistrusted due to his fame and his past. He walked through the annoyingly bright white walls of the center until he found her room.

His wife was perched, cross legged on her neatly done bed, not having looked up at his entrance. From what he could see, Lindsey looked haggard and depressed. Unusually small. Gerard sighed and looked around the room. In his opinion, the place looked more like a mental hospital than a rehab.

"What'cha got there?" Lindsey's soft voice snapped Gerard out of his thoughts and brought his focus back onto her.

Gerard peered into the blue totebag he was carrying and listed off the items, "Your toothbrush, your quilt, a couple of your sweaters, a CD player, and some of your CD's. I asked and they wouldn't let you have your iPod so that's the best I can do.", he shrugged.

"Thank you. You didn't have to bring me anything, really." Lindsey said, curious as to what his reasoning was.

"You'll be here for a while.", was all he said as he dropped the tote bag beside her.

"Yup." Lindsey nodded.

"Well." Gerard shifted awkwardly, "I guess this is it then."

Gerard paused to see if she had anything to say, but the awkward-ness off the moment only increased as silence rang through the room. He waved a hand at her. 

"Bye.", he said as he turned to leave.

"Wait.", Lindsey stopped him. He turned around to look at her again and she was walking towards him. She stopped when she was very close, a very small amount of inches away from him. "I - I'm really sorry Gerard. About everything." Lindsey waited to see if he had any response to that, but he did nothing other than continue to stare at her with seemingly unblinking eyes. She continued, "I'm going to get better. I'm going to get better and when I come back, we're going to be a family again. I swear it. I love both of you so much."

Lindsey stopped and waited for a reaction. Secretly, she hoped with all her heart to hear him say "I love you too." Just one more "I love you" before she separated from the life she knew for a quarter of a year. Gerard seemed to be in thought, nor had he taken his eyes off her face. The silence seemed to last an eternity. Finally, he spoke.

"Take care of yourself, Linds.", Gerard squeezed her shoulder lightly, turned around, and walked out the door.

The album had been postponed. In the coming weeks, Gerard was left to care for Bandit on his own, and he wasn't able to do much else. Not that he minded. The minute or so when Bandit had stopped breathing, when Gerard had walked in and found his daughter nearly strangled to death, had been the most downright frightening thing he had ever experienced. Which was saying something, as Gerard had been through some scary stuff before. But the fear he had felt in that moment was beyond anything he could ever imagine. Therefore, his new approach was to simply never let Bandit out of his sight as much as he could help it.

Mikey came to check on him often. Gerard and Mikey had started having heated discussions as to whether or not Gerard should divorce Lindsey after her rehab treatment. Mikey simply tried to make the point to Gerard that he deserved better than her. Gerard argued that Lindsey was as good as he deserved, if not more, it was only that she was sick at the moment. "I did some fucked up shit when I was on drugs, but you didn't give up on me, did you?", he had asked him. In the end, each argument settled on the conclusion that they would deal with it after Lindsey was released, but Mikey stuck by his opinion and continuously reminded Gerard of that fact. In truth, Gerard was also nervous at the idea of putting Bandit through a divorce. With My Chem having a predominately young fanbase, he had younger fans constantly telling him of the difficulty that their own parents divorces had brought them, both literal and figuratively, and how My Chemical Romance helped him through that. Some had told him it nearly brought them to the brink of suicide. Gerard would never want to put Bandit through anything like that.

Gerard after all, barely knew how to handle situations himself. After tucking Bandit into bed, Gerard still found himself in the habit of self-inflicting tiny gashes on his upper arms and shoulders. They had lessened now that the chaos was dying down, but since Gerard renewed the habit, he was finding it extremely difficult to stop. Was it hypocritical? Just a tad. But Gerard only figured that he wasn't hurting anyone else, like Lindsey had been with her drugs. It wasn't stopping him from doing the things he needed to do. And dammit, it just felt so good.

As far as Gerard felt, everything was going as good as it could be.

Mikey came to Gerard's house one day looking somber. Turns out Alicia and he had just had a fight, and Alicia had won. Alicia wanted her and Mikey to take advantage of this break from the band and use it to go vacationing in Hawaii with her parents. Mikey had argued that Gerard needed him, and it had gotten into whole spiel about how Alicia felt she was constantly having to adjust to Gerard's needs, but when it came to her family, Mikey wouldn't lift a finger. Gerard had laughed when Mikey told him this, insisting to Mikey that everything was fine and that he should by all means enjoy a nice vacation.

"Well, I'm having Frank stay with you for the next three weeks." , Mikey blurted out while he and Gerard sat on the living room sofa, Bandit playing with play-doh on the floor.

"What?", Gerard looked at his brother, wide eyed.

"You heard me. I already arranged it. He should be packing now, actually."

"Wait, wait, wait - you arranged it? Without asking me if someone could stay at my house for an entire three weeks?", Gerard gaped, amazed that Mikey would be so brazen.

"Dude, its Frank.", Mikey raised an eyebrow at Gee, as though perplexed he was having such a harsh reaction.

"Yes, and I love Frank, and he's more than welcome - but, well, why? Why would you do that? Do you figure I can't take care of myself?"

Mikey sighed and looked uncomfortable. Gerard took that as a yes. He suddenly felt very embarrassed. Wasn't he supposed to be the older brother? Since when did he need monitoring?

"Look.", Mikey started, "I love you. I know this is a hard time for you right now. I just wanna make sure -"

"I'm fine, Mikey!", Gerard snapped.

"That's what you said last time!", Mikey snapped back. He took a deep breath and calmed himself for a moment, then explained, "Well, it's for both of you really. Frank told me that Jamia and took Lily and Cherry to go vacationing at their grandparents for a little while. And I don't think he wants to stay alone at his house for three whole weeks."

"They left Frank behind?", Gerard questioned. Mikey shrugged.

"And plus, he's been worried about you too. He said you weren't really answering his texts."

Gerard frowned guiltily and muttered, "Haven't really been answering anyone, really…"

"Well there you go.", Mikey sat back against the couch cushions and crossed his legs. "Sounds like you two need each other now more than ever."

Gerard said nothing, and he felt Bandit tug at his pants leg.

"Yes, sweetie?", he looked down at her.

"Uncle Fwank coming?", she asked.

"Yeah B, Uncle Frank's coming."

"WHOOPPIEEE!", Bandit yelled and threw her arms up happily.

And Gerard smiled the biggest smile.

Next chapter: Best friends reunited, Gerard and Frank catch up. Maybe a bit too fast.


	6. Falling Awake

Chapter Six: Falling Awake

Gerard was sketching out of nervousness when the doorbell rang. His heart jumped to his throat. Gerard wasn't entirely sure as to why he felt so nervous about seeing Frank. Had it really been that long? Sighing, he got up from the kitchen table and wandered towards the door, smoothing his hair back with his hand by habit. He could hear the pitter patter of little footsteps as Bandit wandered out of her room and stood by the top of the staircase, leaning against the balcony so she could have a good view of the door. Gerard opened it.

Frank Iero was standing on their doorstep, amid a variety of suitcases, with a huge grin plastered on his face.

Gerard had cooked a big feast for their dinner: spaghetti with penne pasta and parmesan cheese, garlic bread, and salad. Frank was quite pleased, he had always thought there was something particularly delicious about Gerard's cooking. What, he didn't know, but he always got excited whenever he learned Gerard was preparing dinner. To think he was about to face three whole weeks of it just sounded too good to be true.

They caught up as they ate, Frank telling Gerard of the annoying people he sat next to on his flight over, Gerard telling Frank of the bemusing drawings Bandit had been coming up with. Neither of them had really touched on the subject of Lindsey, although Gerard was sure Mikey must have told him. Perhaps it was just that it had felt so good to see each other again, no one wanted to ruin the mood with negative vibes.

However, a weird moment came when Gerard asked about Jamia.

"How is she?", was all he had said as he grabbed another piece of bread. There was a long silence and Gerard peered up at Frank from his plate to see why his friend had suddenly stopped talking.

Frank seemed to have paled, and was staring down at his plate looking nauseated.

"Frank?", Gerard prodded. No response.

"Frank?", Gerard tried again. Frank suddenly looked like he was breathing bit fast.

"FRANK?", Gerard spoke a bit louder.

"Huh?", Frank snapped back into focus. "Oh, um - Jamia. Yeah. She's okay.", he nodded, still avoiding eye contact.

"Well what was that?"

"What was what?"

"You kinda froze up on me for a second there."

"Did I?", Frank raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware."

"Oh..." Gerard twiddled his fork in his pasta. He had thought about what Mikey had said about Jamia taking Cherry and Lily and going on their trip without Frank. He had suspected something might have been wrong then, and this conversation with Frank now was not helping to quell those suspicions.

"Are you sure nothing's wrong between you two?" Gerard questioned.

Frank stared at him for a good minute before saying, "You know what? I think I'm done eating." and quickly leaving the table.

Gerard sat there for a while, feeling confused and angry with himself. Barely one night in and he's already screwed things up. Wasn't he just the doom bringer of all relationships?

He'll be needing his blade tonight.

"There you are. I would've found you sooner but I had to tuck Bandit in." Gerard sighed as he found Frank sitting atop the dryer in their closet sized laundry room. Frank had his head bowed and didn't indicate that he heard Gerard at all.

"Look." Gerard frowned, "I'm really sorry if I hit a nerve or pissed you off or anything. I was honestly just concerned."

He heard Frank sniff and Gerard walked closer to him, trying to get his attention, and he saw his face ever so slightly.

"Frank? Are you crying?"

Frank finally leapt off the dryer top and stood in front of Gerard with red eyes. A sense of despair radiated off him.

"There's a lot wrong...", he muttered shakily. "There's a lot wrong with me and Jamia..."

"Oh Frank, I'm sorry." Gerard pulled his friend into a hug, and he could feel Frank's shoulder shuddering slightly. Frank grabbed onto Gerard's shirt tightly. Gerard smelled so good. Like raspberry."You wanna tell me what's been going on?"

Frank pushed him away slowly. "Just... it's complicated. I don't really wanna talk about it. Honestly part of the reason I came here is I was hoping you'd help me forget."

There was a silence, and Gerard itched to talk about the issue more but he knew Frank wanted him to let it go, and he already messed up once.

"Of course, Frankie.", Gerard smiled.

"Thanks babe.", Frank grinned back and started heading for the door. "I think I'll go have some of that left over spaghetti. I'm starving."

Gerard chuckled. As he followed Frank from behind, he stared and wondered what could have caused such turmoil in such a perfect relationship as Frank and Jamia's. He figured he'd find out in due time.

The next day went much better. Frank and Bandit finally got some bonding time. Gerard smiled as he watched Frank sitting on the floor with Bandit on his lap, debating what colors to color certain parts of her Spongbob coloring book.

"Spongebob yellow!", she argued, putting the yellow crayon to his face to demonstrate.

"No, I think he's blue!", Frank smirked.

"Nuh uh!", she yelled.

"What does daddy think?" Frank asked.

"Well, obviously, he's purple.", Gerard chimed in, before taking another sip of his coffee. Frank laughed.

Gerard figured that spending time with Bandit must at least somewhat fulfill the empty space Frank felt whenever spending time away from Lily and Cherry. Not to mention that Frank was much better at this playtime stuff than Gerard ever was, so it was good for Bandit too.

After Bandit had been sent away for nap time, Gerard and Frank had gone over new songs Gerard had come up with, and there were quite a few, since Gerard had been forced to stay home so much. Frank felt a pang of concern upon reading the lyrics. They were all quite depressing, with lots of lines speaking of heartbreak and a few written death wishes here and there. Upon asking Gerard about it, Gerard simply shrugged and said they were all that came to mind. Frank held his tongue on the subject, and they proceeded to moved to the couch later on, and watch a few horror flicks they hadn't seen in a while. During which, Bandit made an appearance, then ran screaming back upstairs upon seeing Freddy Krueger on the screen.

Gerard drifted off to sleep happily that second night, his blade untouched. He felt more content than he had in literally months. He almost had a little grin on his face, as he fell into dreamland. Where he saw Lindsey, glowing and pregnant...Mikey congratulating him...a newly built nursery...stuffed toys and pink walls...coloring books...but then blood...so much blood.

Next Chapter: Gerard maybe be falling in a bit too deep. Is Frank pulling him back up - or just pushing him down further? Maybe he's falling too.


	7. Illusive Consensus

A/N: So, I've mapped out the story a bit better. 'Cause until now, I only had direction for how the story was going to end, but I wasn't really sure how to direct things in the middle. So now it's all good. But it also makes it so my last chapter preview isn't really relevant till next chapter. Oh well. That just means more chapters for you guys. ;) And I am going somewhere with this, I promise haha.

Also I wanted to take note that the store I mentioned in this chapter is a real place. So, if you're a Harry Potter fan who lives in California, you might wanna give them a visit. They're pretty cool. Dunno if they'd really let you play with their stuff though. XD

Here's their website: .com/

Anyway, hope you enjoy. :3

Chapter Seven: Illusive Consensus

A rattled Gerard sat on the floor in a corner of Bandit's bedroom, cross legged, with his laptop. Bandit was still asleep. It was about 5 AM, and Gerard was feeling too disturbed to sleep. He experienced a dream, no, a nightmare - nay, a night terror that had caused him to awaken, screaming in a cold sweat. He didn't remember the details all that well, but he had the image of his baby, slaughtered and mangled, imprinted in his mind. Gerard had immediately dashed over to Bandit's room, just for the peace of mind that she was okay. Now he couldn't bring himself to leave. He found himself glancing over in Bandit's direction constantly. He spent his time going through pictures on his laptop of he and Lindsey from one of their trips to Universal Studios Orlando back when they were dating. Gerard was often very prone to nightmares, and Lindsey was always the one who would comfort him afterwards, she had always been there to make him feel safe again. She would make him some warm milk, stroke his hair, wrap him in her arms until he was ready to fall asleep once more.

Now there was no one.

Gerard wondered how she was doing. Wondered if this was as hard for her as it was for him. It had been the most painful thing, turning his back on her when they last spoke. It had taken every bit of his willpower to not say I love you back. He wanted to say it because it was what he was supposed to say, yet he wasn't sure if he'd be lying to her if he did. He had gone home and cried after.

Did he still love her? While he was still angry at her, Gerard also knew these things just don't die overnight. Lindsey had been his best friend and life partner for so many years. She was who made him feel complete at last. He wondered if she missed them at all. Because god knows he missed her.

Or at least, the person she used to be.

He continued to contemplate when it hit around 6 AM, and he heard a voice. Frank's voice. It sounded as though he were talking to someone on the phone. The guest room was right next to Bandit's room, so Gerard could make out words pretty clearly by just leaning his head against the wall.

"...I'm doing great at Gerard's...yeah he made this rice dish tonight, it was fucking beast... he does seem a little down...I don't wanna make him feel uncomfortable if he doesn't wanna talk about it...me? I'm fine...can we not talk about this?...how does that make me a hypocrite?...couples counseling? with Jamia? Are you fucking crazy?...because she's just going to make it more than it is... there's nothing to say about it! It was an affair, and now we're over..."

An affair? Gerard nearly let out an audible gasp and he covered his mouth with his hand quickly. Jamia had cheated on Frankie? Gerard felt his blood boil, and a hot rage flashed over him for a moment. How fucking dare she! How dare she hurt his Frankie, after all he's done for her? After how good he's been to her? He was Frank fucking Iero for god sakes, he could have women far more attractive than she, but year after year, Gerard has watched Frank continue to be faithful to Jamia, and this is how she repays him? Gerard had the right mind to call Jamia up right then and there and give her the yelling of her life.

Oh, and poor Frankie! Gerard frowned. He immediately went about plotting ways he could make Frank feel better. He, after all, knew all too well how much it hurt to be losing the love of your life.

"Get your coat on, we're going downtown!",Gerard yelled into up the stair case at the guest bedroom. He helped Bandit button up her pink cashmere sweater, and he put a matching pink sun hat on her head.

"For what?", Frank yelled back at him.

"I wanna go shopping!" Gerard answered.

"Oh lord…", he heard Frank mutter.

"Daddy, ice cweam afta?", Bandit asked Gerard hopefully.

Gerard smiled, leaned in, and said in a hushed voice, "We'll get some after we're done shopping but don't tell Uncle Frank, it's a surprise."

Gerard put a finger up to his lips and nose and made a "shh" noise to indicate a secret, and Bandit imitated him after as though to show she understood.

Once everyone was in the car, they drove off into the city. Gerard weaved through the horrid LA traffic for what felt like an hour, with both Bandit and Frank whining impatiently at him the whole way through. Finally, they arrived at their destination. A small little shop had the sign "Whimsic Alley" over it. Frank cocked his head curiously, and Bandit squealed happily. It seemed she knew where they were, and was quite pleased about it. He followed Gerard and Bandit into the store.

"Holy shit, no way!", Frank gaped.

At first, he thought he had walked into some sort of Halloween store. He then realized it was a store full of nothing but Harry Potter goodies: Hogwarts robes and hats, wizard candies, professionally crafted wands, porcelain models of characters, and so on. Bandit immediately wanted to touch everything in sight. Frank automatically went for the Gryffindor items, and Gerard reached for anything Slytherin. They tried on everything they possibly could. Gerard flaunted around in a Slytherin scarf that Frank said he looked fabulous in, and Gee fit Frank into all sorts of different hats. Frank skimmed through all the Harry Potter analogy books, and Bandit showed Gerard all the stuffed toys she wanted him to buy her. Frank and Gerard started eyeing the robes, both of them pressing a robe to themselves and asking each other how they looked.

"We'd make fucking awesome wizards.", Frank laughed.

"Hell yeah, you, me, Mikey, and Ray - we'd be like, the marauders. But cooler than those guys!", Gerard chuckled.

"You'd be the devilishly handsome James.", Frank smirked.

"And you, obviously Sirius.", Gerard grinned.

"Ray would be...", Frank thought.

"Lupin.", they said together.

"...Does that mean Mikey is Pettigrew?", Frank snorted.

Gerard doubled over laughing, "Yeah I guess he is! We'll have to tell him that..."

Gerard saw Frank flinch when he looked at the price tag of the robes. His face fell a little. Gerard quickly snatched the robe from his hand and walked past him over to the cashier.

"Gerard what are you doing?", Frank followed him.

"Buying them, silly!", Gerard replied.

"Gerard...", Frank lowered the volume of his voice, "... they're a bit pricey."

"You like them don't you?"

"Well... yeah but..."

"Well then there you go.", Gerard smiled at him while he paid for the robes along with the stuffed toys Bandit wanted.

A slight blush crept to Frank's cheeks before he chuckled and said, "Well I guess this makes me your bitch for the day doesn't it?"

"OH yeah.", Gerard laughed.

They went out to ice cream after. Frank was elated, and Bandit nearly ran out of the car from excitement before Gerard got to even park the car. In truth, this is a typical family treat day that Gerard would take Lindsey and Bandit out for. Lindsey. No! He refused to think of her! Not now, anyway...

"Gerard, you coming?" Frank yelled.

Gerard realized he was still in his car, and had been sitting and staring in the driver's seat while Frank and Bandit were already waiting outside the Coldstone Creamery. Gerard mentally tried to slap himself out of it and he got out of the car and joined them.

While inside, Frank took a while deciding what he wanted. Gerard, Bandit, and... well... her always got the same flavors, so they were all ready when the server asked what they wanted.

"I'll have one scoop of the chocolate with strawberry toppings, in a cup. One scoop strawberry with sprinkles, also in a cup..."

"Mint wid chocolate!", a small voice piped up beside him. Gerard winced. Bandit was ordering for her mother. It's what she always got. Mint with chocolate chips. His mind began flooding with thoughts of her again. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder bring him back to reality. Frank.

"Um, two scoops of coffee in a cone yeah?", Frank asked the server.

Frank insisted on paying for the ice cream. They found a place to sit, and Frank frowned as he noticed Gerard had somewhat clamed up. He too remember Lindsey's favorite ice cream.

Frank sighed and spoke in a low voice, "Gerard, exactly how much have you told Bandit about this whole situation?"

"Well. She doesn't really remember anything from the incident. I just... I just told her Lindsey was going away on vacation for a little while.", Gerard shifted uncomfortably.

"I see.", was all Frank had to say. They sat in silence for a while, just eating their ice cream. Eventually Frank brought up the subject of ideas for the new album, and the mood picked up again. Gerard couldn't have been more relieved.

He was in a hospital room... Lindsey was in labor... she was pushing... he was holding her hand tightly, cheering her on...the baby's head began crowning...it was coming out slowly...he was so excited...but it had no skin...

"Gerard! GERARD!"

"NO!", Gerard bolted up in his bed. He looked to his side, and Frank was beside him looking frightened.

"I heard you screaming." Frank began to explain, "I -"

But before he could finish his sentence, Gerard collapsed into him and began sobbing hysterically. Frank sighed and wrapped his arms around him, rocking him back and forth slowly.

"Shh... it's okay, it's just a dream babe...", he whispered to him soothingly.

"I destroyed my family... I ruined it...",Gerard sobbed helplessly.

"Shh, shh...You ruined nothing, Gerard. No one blames you." Frank tried to reassure him.

Gerard continued to sob and Frank continued to hold him for a very long time. Frank felt terrible watching Gerard break down like this. Holding him in his arms and feeling him shaking and shuddering against his pained sobs and cries. It hadn't been this way since back when Gerard was doing drugs, back when he was depressed and suicidal. He was supposed to be happy now. He deserved to be happy. It wasn't fair.

Once Gerard had calmed down a little, Frank backed away a bit and asked if there was anything he could do.

"A cup of warm milk would be nice.", Gerard said in a meek voice and sniffed.

Frank almost smiled. Gerard really was such a child sometimes.

"Sure thing babe."

As Gerard watched Frank walk out of the room to fetch him his milk, he felt for the first time like things might turn out okay after all.

Next chapter: "But the past ain't through with you."


	8. For The Heart I Once Had

A/N: While I know you guys probably aren't quite so interested in a Lindsey-centric chapter, do give it a read anyway. It's a tad important to the story. Just a tad.

Chapter Eight: For The Heart I Once Had

It was the start of second half of the second month at the rehab. Lindsey sat through her afternoon group, elbow resting on leg, head resting on hand. Listening to people's boring, mundane problems about what lead them to addiction. Not that it wasn't interesting at first, but after the 10th or so group meeting, the stories got repetitive. It was amazing how much drug addicts had in common. They all wanted one thing: an escape. A rush. Something to spice up their monotone lives.

Lindsey didn't have a monotone life. She never did. Ever since she was a little girl, her life had always been a rollercoaster of ups and downs. Raised by an alcoholic father, and a mother who was constantly gone, working to support both of them. While her father had never laid a hand on her, he had been horribly verbally abusive. His constant jabs at her had caused her self esteem to plummet at a young age, and she had sought comfort in food. This then led her to spend most of her childhood and high school days ranging from obese to chubby, giving her father and kids at school even more material to attack her with.

She had finally got around to losing the weight when she hit college, and it was such a long and difficult road. But Lindsey had fought hard for it, and she eventually got there. And when she did, she had looked gorgeous. It had been a new start for her. She gained plenty of new friends, and gained an interest in bass, art, and joining bands. She went to shows, getting to know people in the music scene. And the rest was history.

She remembered MSI's rise as a band. She remembered meeting Gerard Way, and she remembered them clicking right off the bat. Lindsey had had such a crush. Unfortunately, upon that first meeting, Gerard was dating someone at the time. And while she knew he had some attraction to her as well, in the end, he had gone home with the girl he was dating. Lindsey hadn't been sure why this had saddened her so - there were many men, some just as cute Gerard, if not cuter, that she could have had. But she had wanted that one. Of course, she didn't exactly fight to keep him either. When they had parted ways at the end of the tour, she had sufficed by telling him a casual "See you around." before turning her back on him and heading back home.

When they met again, she thoroughly believed it must be fate. Especially when she saw their chemistry was only stronger that time around. Gerard was then single, and Lindsey did not hesitate. She and Kitty would plot ways to seduce him, like giggling little school girls trying to bag the popular boy on campus. It hadn't been hard at all - Gerard was a sucker. He seemed more like the fumbling, stuttering, shy geek than the popular boy, despite his obvious popularity. He had just gotten out of a relationship with one Eliza Cuts, and he was vulnerable. She remembered all the flirting. All the writing on each other. She remembered their first time, when they had snuck off, away from everyone else, and gotten a hotel room. She remembered the passion. She also remembered Mikey disliking her at first. He would shoot her dirty looks, or point out flaws of hers to Gerard. Lindsey had an inkling Mikey knew what she wanted, and she knew he was just trying to protect his brother. But perhaps because Mikey saw that they truly cared for each other, or that she made Gerard as happy as she did, Mikey did eventually soften.

Because Lindsey did truly care about him. At at least one point or another, she truly, truly did. And he had shown her nothing but undying, unconditional love. They had a beautiful baby girl together. And they both had thought they had achieved their happy endings.

What had happened?

Lindsey knew all too well, and was regretting the answer day by day. Postpartum depression had been an issue with her shortly after giving birth to Bandit. She had recovered from it quickly, although it had left her traumatized.

So when her sudden depressive state led her to realize she was pregnant with a second child, she knew she had to terminate it.

Gerard was no advocate of abortion. She knew if she tried to get one, he would find out. She was a dependant on his health insurance. So what did she do? Stuffed herself with cocaine in a desperate, desperate hope of a miscarriage.

It hadn't worked.

Something was still there, inside of her.

And one day, he was going to find out.

And it would emerge, probably mangled and deformed.

Because of what she did.

"Lindsey?", a gentle voice penetrated her thoughts. Lindsey was brought back to reality as she looked at the circle of people around her, looking at her curiously. Their group leader smiled at her and asked, "Do you have anything you'd like to share?"

Lindsey smiled a small smile in return and said, "No."

Lindsey walked back to her bed during break, hoping to take a nap that would clear her head. It was all she could do anymore when the "bad" thoughts started clustering in her brain. While the rehab claimed to be a place for healing, she could swear it was only driving her closer to insanity each and every day.

Then again, maybe she had been that way for a while now.

She saw she had mail in her inbox. One of them was a letter from someone with an obviously fake return name and address. She had a feeling she knew who it was from. She opened it to see her drug dealer's sloppy scrawl. She sat on the bed as she read the short message.

-Lindsey

You haven't paid me the money you owe. I know where your husband and daughter live.

- "Anderson"

'What an idiot', was the first thing she thought. Did he really think she could pay him while she rehab? Then came the thought of Gerard and Bandit. She knew Ryan was threatening them. And Ryan was not someone who gave out empty threats.

Ironic wasn't it, that in her attempt to murder her unborn child, she may have ended up murdering the family she already had? Then again, who was she to talk about murder? She can't even do that right. She can't do anything right. So why even bother do anything anymore? Just - fuck it.

Lindsey sighed, and dug through her totebag. She saw Gerard had packed in The Black Parade. She popped it into the CD player, switched to "I Don't Love You" and collapsed onto the bed.

Next chapter: Frank's turmoil.


	9. Bless The Child

Chapter Nine: Bless The Child

Frank crept silently along the second floor of Gerard's house. He couldn't sleep. He was feeling troubled by thoughts of Jamia. He missed Cherry and Lily. He had come here to forget, and while Gerard had somewhat helped him do that, the heavy feeling in his heart was always just lurking around the corner, waiting to attack him the second he was alone.

It also hurt to see Gerard hurting like he was. Gerard was a kind, sweet person. He didn't deserve this. He only wondered why Lindsey would have turned on him so suddenly. He couldn't believe it when Mikey had told him. While he admittedly had never known Lindsey very well, Gerard had always made her sound like an angel who could do no wrong. Yet when Mikey talked about her, it was like hearing about a totally different person.

Then again, he figured Mikey never liked her much to begin with. He remembered when Lindsey and Gerard first started dating, and Mikey hated her. He could swear he heard Mikey growl like a hostile dog every time she came around, her arms wrapped possessively around Gerard. He heard Mikey tell Gerard a lot of things. Things like, "She's using you for your money!" or "She's taking advantage of the fact that you just got out of a break up!". Frank knew that Mikey was only scared for Gerard. Gee had taken his separation with Eliza very hard, and Mikey saw that and didn't want it happening again. Not so soon, anyway. But one day, Mikey said something that Frank had never forgotten when he spoke directly to Mikey about what had been dubbed "the Lyn-Z issue".

"She's not good enough for him." Mikey had said to Frank. "She's no you."

She's no you.

What was that even supposed to mean?

Did it mean what he thinks it meant? What he wanted it to mean? Frank had always had an inkling that Mikey knew about his past attractions to Gerard. It was a bit obvious wasn't it? Frank had even entertained the idea that perhaps the reason Mikey had disliked Lindsey, or at least part of it, was because he knew Frank had feelings for Gee, and he was simply doing what friends do when their friend's crush got stolen by someone else. Hate on the opposition. And clearly, the whole "she's no you" comment is meant to imply that he agreed that Frank was a better match for Gerard anyway.

Mikey had been so insistent that Frank stay with Gerard while he was away. Frank had at first felt uneasy about imposing on Gerard by staying at his home, but Mikey kept saying it was for everyone's own good. Had he forced them together for a particular reason? Was this a setup?

Frank shook his head violently. What the hell was he thinking? Frank hadn't thought of Gerard in that way for quite some time now. Was it really that late? He checked his cell. 4:32 AM. Guess it was.

He was about to turn away when he heard a noise. A slight stumbling sound from nearby. He checked in Bandit's room to see if she had made it, but she was still sound asleep. He then went over to Gerard's room. He peered inside, but there was no one in the bedroom.

'That's strange.', Frank thought. He was about to turn back when he saw the bathroom door in the bedroom was ajar, and a light was on. While Frank was not entirely sure what would possess him to walk in on someone while they were in the bathroom knowingly, he figured he was simply eager to know Gerard was awake along with him. So, he crept forward, stuck his head into the doorway, and screamed.

Gerard was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, absolutely covered in blood. He was shirtless, and there were gashes and cuts all over his pale skin, except for his lower arms, neck and face. He had a makeshift blade in his hand, and he was looking up at Frank with wide eyes like a child who had gotten caught with marker all over themselves.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?", Frank panicked, grabbing as much tissue as he could and dabbing them over the wounds in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

"Shh!", Gerard hushed Frank, "You'll wake Bandit!"

"YEAH. Not exactly my concern right now, Gerard!"

"Would you calm down?", Gerard hissed, "It's not a big deal. It's just something... I do. It helps me relax."

Frank let out a maniacal laugh. "Relax? RELAX? HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO RELAX? YOU'RE FUCKING BLEEDING EVERYWHERE!"

"It's the only thing that helps anymore, Frank!", Gerard pleaded as he watched Frank continue to tend to his wounds.

"Well fucking find something else! Jigsaw puzzles, do your sketches, but for god sakes, not this!", Frank yelled, "Dammit Gerard, I thought you were done with this shit!"

"Well I thought Lindsey was fucking done with drugs!", Gerard retorted.

"That doesn't give you the right to disappoint me like she did you!"

Gerard fell silent. Frank knew he had hit a nerve. But he didn't care. It was something that had to be done. This had to be stopped. This wasn't acceptable. Tears filled Gerard's pretty eyes and they cascaded down his flushed cheeks.

"I'm sorry.", he said in barely a whisper.

Frank patched up the last bleeding cut with some gauze from the cabinet. He reached up and wiped the tears from Gerard's face.

"C'mon. ", Frank spoke gently; "I'll stay with you tonight."

Gerard nodded and Frank helped him up. Frank led him to the bed and they both laid down together. Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank, and Frank stroked his hand through Gerard's long, cherry red hair repeatedly. To anyone else, this would have been clearly a lover's display. Or, you know, just plain weird. But if there was one thing the boys of My Chemical Romance were known for to anyone who actually knew them, it was their closeness and comfort with one another. So to Frank and Gerard, this was a perfectly normal way to treat each other on a bad night. And Gerard wouldn't have had it any other way. He embraced Frank tighter, and he felt Frank plant a kiss on the top of his head. Bliss.

Bandit and Frank were alone. Gerard had gone to the store. On the floor of her bedroom, Bandit was introducing Frank to all her stuff toys, and boy, did she have a lot of them. Literally hundreds. Frank was baffled as to how Bandit had managed to come up with a name for each and every one. They were all quite inventive too. There was a "McGiggles" and a "Madam Monster", there was a "Sunny Simon" and a "Princess Nemo". Frank figured she must have gotten her ability for good wordplay from her father.

"Mommy helps naming.", Bandit said suddenly, as though she knew what he had been thinking about.

"Oh.", was all he had to say as he held a lavender stuffed octopus in his hands.

"I miss mommy...", Bandit pouted.

"I know, sweetie.", Frank gave her a sad smile and pulled her into his lap, embracing her gently.

"When she coming back?"

"I don't know."

Frank suddenly felt himself tear up, and he had to suppress a sob. He felt so frustrated at himself for not being able to answer that for her. Perhaps because he knew, thousands of miles away, Cherry and Lily were asking Jamia the same question about him. And it resulted in the same answer.

Next chapter: Frank and Gerard get intimate, but Gerard is facing more than he realizes.


	10. Bare Grace Misery

Chapter Ten: Bare Grace Misery

Gerard had come home from the store to find Bandit's room an absolute mess. He had also come to find Frank and Bandit both walking around with their arms stretched out ahead of them, making roaring noises and pretending to "terrorize" all of Bandit's stuffed toys, which were now all over not only the floor of her bedroom, but somehow had found their way to the floors of other rooms of the house as well. Gerard had to restrain himself from yelling. Lindsey had always worked hard to make sure most of Bandit's stuffed toys stayed neatly on their shelves. She would have just died had she been the one to walk in on this. However, Frank's antics with Bandit couldn't help but make the corners of Gerard's mouth twitch upward just a little bit.

However this also left him with the daunting task of having to clean up the mess, and he was already so tired from doing the errands. Frank had been apologetic about it, and Gerard had insisted it was fine. Frank had been such a great emotional help for both he and Bandit that he almost didn't mind.

Yet still, after then having to cook dinner almost immediately after straightening out the aftermath of this "Godzilla" attack, Gerard was positively exhausted by the end of the night. He collapsed onto his bed and reached for his iPhone, ready to play a couple of rounds of Angry Birds before falling asleep when he heard a knock on his door.

Begrudgingly, he got up to go get it. Frank was standing, grinning on the other side, in his Hogwart's robes, a pair of thick rimmed glasses, and from what it looked to be, a sharpie drawn lightning bolt scar on his forehead. Gerard had no words. He was just way too tired for this.

"No.", was all Gerard said as he made to close the door on Frank.

"Oh c'mon!", Frank laughed, pushing the door open. He succeeded, as he was significantly stronger than Gerard was, "Put on your robes! I haven't seen you in them! Let's take pictures! I'll post them on Twitter, our fans'll love it!"

"Ugh... I don't know Frankie, I'm feeling a bit tired..."

"C'mon, pleeeeeassseee?" Frank gave Gerard his best "puppy dog eyes" look. Gerard couldn't resist. Frank just had such large, adorable, beautiful eyes. One would have to have no soul to resist them.

"Okay.", Gerard gave in exasperatedly. Frank squealed happily as Gerard wandered over to where he had put his robes. As he changed into them in the bathroom, Gerard contemplated on his disbelief that he was being persuaded by a grown man to play dress up at 11 at night.

He emerged and a flash of light brightened the room. Frank was taking pictures already.

"You look fucking awesome!" Frank teased.

"Alright, I'm in the stupid robes, now what?" Gerard asked Frank.

"Let's take pictures!" Frank grinned, practically jumping up and down.

"Fine." Gerard agreed as Frank walked over to him, and slung an arm around his shoulders, taking a picture of both of them together.

Eventually some of Frank's random perkiness rubbed off on Gerard, and he started getting into it. He even got some fake wands that they could pose with. They made a whole photo shoot out of it, taking pictures of themselves in battle poses and ridiculous stances.

"Let's roleplay! I'll be Harry, you can be Malfoy." Frank smirked.

"Fuck off Potter!" Gerard feigned a British accent, "You don't tell me who I get to be!"

"So Malfoy of you." Frank crossed his arms and mimicked Gerard's accent, "Why don't you go suck off Snape in the dungeons?"

"That's only on Friday's." Gerard giggled.

"Well why wait till Friday when I'm right here, Malfoy?" Frank teased.

"Ugh. Potter. Don't kid yourself. Snape's cock is far worthier of my blowjobs than your puny little dick."

Frank brought his hand to his chest and puffed it out, his mouth gaping open, feigning an appalled look. "Is that a challenge? Well fine!"

And Frank dropped his pants. Gerard jumped back. Frank didn't have any underwear on. And he was already erect. It was huge. Frank displayed himself proudly, both his hands at his hips, smirking.

"Start sucking." Frank said smugly.

And to Frank's extreme surprise, Gerard smirked and got down on his knees. But he wasn't about to stop him either. Gerard wrapped his lips around Frank's hardness, and his tongue caressed it hungrily. Frank moaned, and Gerard felt more encouraged. Gerard sucked on it hard, stroking Frank's cock with his lips as he went back and forth on it slowly. Frank savored it, but he wanted to go faster. He wanted to feel Gerard's tongue fucking ravage him. He grabbed Gerard by the top of his hair, and started thrusting his cock more and more aggressively into Gerard's mouth. Gerard adjusted himself to the change of speed well, and he bobbed his head back and forth onto Frank's cock harder. Frank groaned and moaned as Gerard did wonders with that tongue, with those soft, baby lips. He felt himself almost about to cum, and he stopped himself, wanting to drag this out. He after all, had wanted this with Gerard for so god damn long.

Frank removed the rest of his upper clothing. He then pulled away from Gerard's mouth and picked Gerard up by the shoulders and shoved him onto the bed, laying him flat on the mattress. He then proceeded to unbutton Gerard's pants and yank them straight off, only to see that Gerard was already hard underneath his boxers. He removed those too, and prepared himself to return Gerard's favor. He slid his mouth onto it steadily, earning a gasp from Gerard's lips. Gerard felt the moisture of Frank's mouth embrace his penis, as Frank spread Gerard's legs apart further. As Frank sucked on him eagerly, Gerard felt Frank rove his fingers around the stretch of skin between his testicles and his anus, applying pressure to it. Gerard whimpered, his breathing speeding up more and more by the second. Frank quickened his movements and Gerard felt himself pushing into Frank's mouth, overwhelmed by the sensation. Frank cupped Gerard's balls and Gerard moaned at the sensation.

Frank moved on, helping Gerard remove the rest of his clothing. He went for some nipple play as he proceeded to suck on one of Gerard's nipples and would finger around the other, then switch. Gerard always had rather large nipples. Frank had been wanting to play with them for ages. He felt Gerard use his hands to play around with his nipples as well. Frank was feeling increasingly turned on due to the short, small gasping noises that Gerard was emitting, and when he looked up he could see Gerard was blushing almost as red as his hair.

"Frank…" Gerard groaned as Frank sucked on his left nipple particularly hard.

Frank felt Gerard's hard cock rub against his own hardness, their legs entwined. Frank had to have him, he just couldn't take it anymore! He flipped Gerard around suddenly.

"Lube." Frank breathed out. Gerard pointed to the top drawer on his bedside table and Frank went to get it quickly, squirting plenty on his hand and on Gerard's anus. He used the hand that was covered in lube and fingered Gerard's entrance, spreading the lube evenly. Gerard moaned in earnest. Frank wanted this to be amazing for both of them.

He grabbed at Gerard's waist, leaned in and whispered, "You ready to get fucked, Malfoy?"

"Only by you Potter." Gerard replied seductively. Next thing he knew, Frank was sliding into him. He could feel his asshole stretch out slowly, and it felt painful and pleasurable at the same time. Gerard yelped as he felt Frank hit his prostate. He knew Frank was trying to be gentle at first, and he was right - Frank was extremely nervous about hurting Gerard. He did appear rather frail, after all. But Gerard encouraged Frank to go faster, egging him on. And so he did. Frank thrust and thrust and thrust into Gerard harder and harder. Both of them groaned and moaned in unison. The beast in Frank really came out eventually, as he grabbed a fistful of Gerard's hair and yanked his head back. Gerard let out a yell. Frank spun Gerard around in a different position, where Gerard was lying on his back. Frank grabbed Gerard's legs and pushed on them, so they were bent and for the most part, Gerard's entire lower half was being squished together, down into the mattress. Gerard was screaming his name, his head rolling around, and sweat covering both of them. Gerard was gripping the bed sheets as though he was trying to prevent himself from being abducted.

Frank felt himself about to cum, and screamed "GERARD!" just as Gerard screamed "FRANK!", and he exploded into Gerard. Frank pushed himself as deep into Gerard's anus as he could when he did, and he felt all the semen pouring out like a flood. Once he could push himself in no further, he heard Gerard emit a cry of alarm, and he saw that Gerard was cumming too.

Frank finally released himself from Gerard, and put his pants back on. Gerard sat up.

"Um…" he said awkwardly to Gerard. "Wow. Well. I guess I'll be going then."

"Fuck that.", Gerard huffed, "You come in here when I'm fucking exhausted, make me put on robes only to take them off like 30 minutes later, fuck me, and then leave? No way Frankie, you're staying here tonight. "

Frank smiled and dove back into the bed with Gerard.

"God, so demanding." Frank teased as he wrapped his arms around Gerard.

"Hey man, I'm fucking Malfoy and I get what I fucking want.", Gerard mumbled jokingly before drifting onto sleep, his face nuzzled into Frank's muscular chest. So god damn tired.

Frank woke in the middle of the night to a choking noise. He didn't even have to open his eyes to know that Gerard was crying again. Frank sighed and looked around for him. He spotted him sitting on the edge of the bed. He saw Gerard had put his pajamas back on.

"Gerard." Frank called his attention. Gerard didn't turn around. Frank crawled over to him instead, and sat next to him, putting a hand on Gerard's shoulder.

"Gerard..." he repeated, "..what's wrong baby?"

"I didn't cut…" said Gerard through his sobs. "I haven't cut because I don't want to disappoint you…."

"Well that's really good!" said Frank as he pulled Gerard into an embrace, "I'm so proud of you!"

"But I disappointed her!" Gerard yelled rather loudly. "I told her when we got married I wouldn't do anything with you! I fucking promised! Why can't I stop fucking disappointing people?"

Ouch. While Frank knew very well he had told Jamia the same thing, it still kind of hurt to hear.

"Gerard. She's gone now. You don't owe her shit." Frank said bluntly.

"You don't know that… once she gets out of rehab what if - "

"No Gerard! No what if!" Frank lectured Gerard sternly. "Don't you remember what she did to you? To Bandit? She fucking beyond disappointed you! You have to stop beating yourself up and get fucking angry at the person who actually fucking deserves it!"

"It's not her fault!" Gerard insisted, "It was the drugs that made her do that stuff! I was on drugs too remember? But I got better!"

"Yeah Gerard, when you were a fucking kid! And even then, you didn't try to drown your own fucking child! And don't think I didn't hear about that time you supposedly blacked out from tripping on one of Bandit's toys! God Gerard, you could have been seriously injured! Had you and Mikey come home an hour later after that dinner, Bandit could have fucking died!"

"STOP! STOP!", Gerard screamed, literally covering his ears with his hands.

"NO!" Frank grabbed Gerard by his wrists and yanked his arms down, "Gerard you have to hear this! You have to face the truth that this woman is a fucking psychopath, and you have to fucking talk about it! Otherwise, you're just going to keep fucking torturing yourself!"

"And what about you?" Gerard seethed, tears still streaming down his face, "Don't think that I don't fucking know about Jamia cheating on you! Yet you haven't said a fucking word about it since you got here! Kind of something you'd want to tell your best friend, isn't it?"

Frank looked thoroughly confused.

"What? Where did you hear - ?"

"I heard you talking with someone on the phone a few nights ago." Gerard confessed.

Gerard saw realization dawn on Frank's face, and suddenly, Frank looked angry. A dark look in his eyes, he shook his head and said, his voice shaky, "Oh no, Gerard. It was I who cheated on Jamia."

Gerard's face was a look of shock. After a while, he spoke, gaping.

"You cheated on her?"

"You fucking eavesdropped on my conversation?"

Gerard and Frank stared at each other with equal disbelief. Frank had let go of Gerard's wrists.

"I fucking overheard you! I'm fucking sorry! It was better than waiting for you to tell me what the fuck you were so moody over!"

"I'M FUCKING MOODY? You've been slicing yourself up and having these breakdowns every fucking night, and I'M FUCKING MOODY?", Frank scoffed at him.

"At least I fucking tell you what's going on!", Gerard barked.

"No, no you fucking haven't! I had to have Mikey tell me you and Lindsey broke up! If you recall, I texted and called plenty of fucking times before I got over here, asking you what was happening! And you ignored every single one! It got to the point where I had to come down here myself!"

"WELL I NEVER ASKED FOR THAT!", Gerard roared. "What, you staying here now because Jamia fucking kicked you out?"

Frank abruptly stopped speaking, and a guilty look overcame his expression.

"How long were you even planning on staying here, Frank?", Gerard softened his voice, but Frank could still hear the anger in it.

"How long, Frank?", Gerard repeated himself.

"I don't know...", Frank muttered.

"What was that?"

"I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T FUCKING KNOW ALRIGHT?" Frank screamed. "I didn't think it was going to be a problem! I thought you were fucking done with that fucking bitch you call a wife!"

"DON'T YOU DARE!" Gerard snapped at him, "Don't you dare talk about her like that!"

"Don't you fucking see what you're doing?" Frank laughed scathingly, "You're just directing the anger that should have been for Lindsey at me!"

"And your trying to turn me against her so you can fucking take her place and move on in here! And here I fucking thought all those fucking pep talks were in my best interest! All that 'you deserve better than her Gerard' - you just wanted me to get over her for your fucking benefit!"

"How fucking stupid are you?" Frank spat.

"OBVIOUSLY VERY! That it took me this fucking long to catch on to your ploy!"

"FOR GOD SAKES GERARD, THERE IS NO FUCKING PLOY! I came because I thought you needed me!"

"NEEDED YOU FOR WHAT? SO YOU COULD USE ME FOR MY HOUSE AND THEN CHEAT ON ME LIKE YOU DID HER?" Gerard was screaming at the top of his lungs. He looked quite terrifying, his face only semi lit up by the moonlight from the window. But Frank wasn't ready to back down.

"I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO YOU, AND YOU KNOW THAT!" Frank yelled at a volume matching Gerard's.

"NO, I DON'T FUCKING KNOW FRANK! APPARANTLEY I DON'T FUCKING KNOW ANYONE ANYMORE! BECAUSE THE FRANK I FUCKING KNEW WOULD HAVE NEVER FUCKING CHEATED ON SOMEONE HE LOVED!"

"THAT'S JUST IT GERARD. I DIDN'T FUCKING LOVE HER. STOP FUCKING ASSUMING THINGS ABOUT SHIT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT!"

"DO YOU LOVE ME?"

"What?"

"YOU HEARD ME! . LOVE. ME?"

Gerard was looking him dead in the eyes as he said it. While he still looked angry as all hell, Frank saw something else pass through his expression. In the depths of those hazel browns. Fear. He saw fear. There was a long pause before Frank said the only thing he could honestly, truthfully say at this point.

"I don't know.", he said shakily.

"Get out." Gerard hissed in a low voice.

"Gerard, I have nowhere to g-"

"GET OUT!", Gerard shrieked.

Frank grabbed a shirt to put on. Gerard curled up on the bed, and buried his face in his hands. Frank left the room, Gerard not seeing if he even glanced back at him. He heard some fumbling in the guest room. Not too long after, he heard the front door open and close. Gerard collapsed into hysterical sobs almost immediately, feeling horribly taken advantage of.

Once outside, a shaken Frank quickly decided what he was going to do. He dropped his bags onto the sidewalk and called a cab. He curled himself into a ball on the sidewalk as he waited, his mind racing. Ten minutes later, the cab came. Frank hopped in it and asked the driver to take him to the nearest hotel. He took one last good look at the house and for a moment hoped Gerard would be okay.

'Fuck it.', he thought bitterly as the cab driver pulled away, 'He thinks' I'm some god awful asshole anyway.'.

He turned away from the home, unseeing of the two men who were watching it as well.

Next chapter: Lindsey leaves Gerard a message. Frank has a strange encounter.


	11. Linger

Chapter Eleven: Linger

'You fucking killed them. They loved you more than anything, and you fucking killed them. He's going to murder them, and it's all your fault.'

The words hissed in Lindsey's mind over and over. These thoughts, these thoughts haunted her every single time she tried to shut her eyes to sleep. The emotionless reaction she had felt upon reading Ryan's letter had in the days to pass had become replaced with an overwhelming sensation of guilt. No matter how hard she struggled to shake it off, it stayed and lingered.

She sat now, at the desk in her room, hovering a pen over the blank paper in front of her. She pressed upon it and began to write:

-Gerard

I'm writing to you now for no other reason than closure. I know there aren't enough apologies for the hurt I've caused you, so I'm not going to bother. Instead, I'm going to ask that you not remember me for the person I was when you last saw me. I ask you to remember me as the woman you loved and who loved you in return. The woman you started a family with. The woman you called your best friend. Because she's still there, Gerard. She's still there, buried underneath the ruin that I've become. And she misses you so, so much. She misses your tight embraces. She misses your Breakfast Monkey imitations. She misses your soft, sweet kisses. She misses your excellent home cooked meals.

Tears began to spill on the paper, splattering like heavy drops of rain. She searched her mind for more to say, but all that came to mind was this:

I know it's in your nature, but please don't go blaming yourself. No matter how cliché it sounds: It's not you. It's me. The things that I kept from you were not only to protect myself, but to protect you too. I still want to protect you. But I guess the best way to have done that was to simply be honest with you. And now it's too late to turn back. That fact alone kills me every single day I continue to live. I've ruined everything. Please understand Gerard, I just don't want to hurt you anymore.

The last thing I have to protect you from is myself.

Goodbye, my love. Maybe we'll meet again someday, and then I'll be who I used to be.

-Lindsey

Sighing, she left the table, leaving the note upon it. Lindsey then went about throwing her pillow on the floor, and she removed her bed sheets from the mattress. She looked outside the tiny window of her room one last time, trying to glimpse at the stars in the night sky. Suddenly, she felt a kick in her belly, and she placed a hand ever so slightly on her stomach.

She had to protect him.

Tears still streaming down her face, she tied the sheets around her neck.

Gerard had been in the grips of an uneasy sleep when he heard a noise that sounded like it had come from downstairs. In his state of being semi-awake, he brushed it off as possibly being imaginary. Then, a few minutes later, he heard it again, only louder.

He forced himself to get up, and his first instinct was to check on Bandit. He hopped off the bed and quietly crept to her bedroom. It wasn't until he opened the door, did he hear voices.

Gerard's heart jumped to his throat. There were six or so darkly clothed men standing around Bandit's toddler bed, and all of them had turned their attention to him.

There was a long moment of frightful silence. One man with a deep voice then said, "Kill the girl."

Another man rose what Gerard could see was the outline of a gun.

"NO!", he screamed, hurling himself at the man. Gerard and what looked to be a man in his mid-forties struggled on the floor, Gerard hitting and kicking him everywhere he could reach. The gun had flown the floor on one corner of the room upon Gee having jumped on top of him.

An array of hands then pulled him off the man, and Gerard only then remembered the fact that he was highly outnumbered.

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Gerard screamed at them as a man held him back firmly.

"Payment. Or payback. However you'd like to look at it.", one man said casually.

"You want money? Fine, whatever, take however much you want. It's all in the master bedroom. Just get the fuck away from my daughter!" Gerard growled.

"Daddy?" a small voice piped up. Bandit had awoken. They all turned to her at the sound of her voice.

Gerard took advantage of this opportunity and bit down hard on the arm of the man who was holding him. The man screamed from the pain and Gerard immediately bolted towards Bandit, grabbed her, and tried to make a run for it.

Then, just as they got out into the balcony, a gunshot rang. White hot pain seared through Gerard's leg as he fell to the ground. He held Bandit close to him, struggling not to drop her. He tried to get up again and keep running, but a second gunshot rang out, and Gerard then had two bullet wounds in the same leg. Try as he might, he could no longer stand, let alone make it down the stairs. Bandit started crying hysterically. She didn't know what was happening, and the loud noises weren't helping to say the least. He released Bandit onto the floor.

"Sweetie, I need you to do something for me.", Gerard tried to tell her as quick, yet as clearly as he could, "I need you to run. Run outside, and go to the Ling's house. Tell them to call 911, do you understand?"

"Daddy, you're hurt…." Bandit cried.

"No sweetie, I'm okay. Everything's fine. Just please, baby, run!"

Gerard then saw Bandit look up, and he knew it was too late. Someone was approaching them. In the distance, he could hear some of the other men going into his bedroom, and from what it sounded like, looking for the cash he had mentioned. The man who approached them flipped Gerard on his back, kicked Gerard in the stomach a few times, then stomped on his face enough to break his nose. He caressed Gee's cheek with his shoe, grinning manically and dealing him a blow to the head.

"Stop!" Bandit screeched. "Stop hurting daddy!" and she grabbed onto the leg the man was using to kick Gerard.

"Bandit!", Gerard yelled in protest. The man only shook Bandit aside, grunting in annoyance. He kicked her in the stomach and she grabbed onto the hem of the man's pants with all his strength and pulled him away. Bandit only ran back to her father's side.

"Please.", Gerard shook his head, tears forming in his eyes, he begged, "Please spare her. Kill me, do whatever you want with me, but please don't hurt her, she knows nothing! Just leave her! She won't remember what you look like, she's barely even two! Please, I'll do anything…."

The man pulled out a pistol, and aimed it at them both. Gerard was looking straight into the barrel of the gun as the gaunt looking man sneered.

"You'll have your wife to thank for this." he said.

Frank flipped through the channels restlessly while lying on the bed of the cheap motel he had settled for. He had chosen this place, as he wasn't sure how long he'd be out on his own for, and he figured it would be best to save money. It had been only two days since Gerard kicked him out, and already he felt a sense of complete hopelessness. He wouldn't deny that he missed Gerard and Bandit, or that he had thought hungrily tonight of what Gerard might be cooking for dinner.

Frank wondered if Bandit had asked as to where he went, or even noticed he was gone. 'Pfft, probably told her I was going on vacation.', Frank scoffed. He bitterly played with the idea that Gerard might just use that excuse every time Bandit noticed yet another person had been dropped from Gerard's life. Wondered how long Bandit would catch on to the fact that her father just couldn't keep a damn relationship.

"Now, you know that's not true."

Frank nearly jumped out of his skin. He had heard a voice next to him. He had looked over, and Lindsey Way was sitting right next to him.

She had been dressed in her stage outfit, the short plaid skirt with her thi-highs, her red vest, and her hair in pigtails. Her hair was black again.

"Wh-wha- what the hell? Lindsey?", Frank questioned, alarmed. He blinked a couple of times to make sure he was really seeing what he thought he was. Had he gone crazy already?

"Yes. It's me.", she smiled, her lips the same bright red she used to always paint them. "Look. Gerard loves you and you know that. It's absolutely silly that you're not with him right now."

"He fucking kicked me out! He's the one being a drama queen!"

"Because he IS a drama queen! The man is a total diva!" Lindsey chuckled. "You know that by now! And yet there must be a reason you keep coming back to him after all these years…"

Frank paused for a moment, and Lindsey stared at him patiently. Then he blurted out, "I - I don't know how to answer his question."

"Which one?"

"Wh-whether or not I love him.", Frank hesitated, feeling extremely weird to be saying this to his wife. "I think...he wanted an answer to that."

"But you do love him, Frank. Maybe not in the way he wants, but god damn Frankie, after ten years of friendship, should that even matter? The point is that you guys love each other enough to be with each other through tough times. He needs you right now. Get through the forest first, then deal with the meadow later."

"He's just so...so... difficult sometimes!" Frank sighed with exasperation.

"I know love, but don't pretend you're an angel either."

"Why are you even here, why are you telling me this? I would've thought you would've wanted me far, far away from him..."

Lindsey smiled at Frank sadly, and he could have sworn he saw her sorrow through her eyes. Her eyes, so like Bandit's. It was like he was looking at exact replicas.

"Because I need you to do what I failed to do."

"What's that?" Frank whispered, still entranced by her eyes.

"Save him."

And then Frank woke up.

Spongebob was playing on the TV screen, he and Patrick ensuing in another one of their crazy antics.

'Spongebob is purple.' was the first thing that went through his head. He looked to his side and saw he was alone. Frank then got on his jeans and put on a coat. He headed for the door.

He knew he had to make things right.

Next chapter: Saving Gerard.


	12. The Beauty Of The Beast

Chapter Twelve: Beauty Of The Beast

Frank had called Gerard repeatedly, and rang the doorbell quite a few times as well. No one was answering. He almost felt like turning back, but he remembered what his dream had told him. He thoroughly believed it was a sign that he needed to do this. Luckily, Gerard hadn't asked for his key copy back when he kicked him out. He didn't typically like using it without Gerard's permission, but if Gerard was going to be stubborn, then dammit, so was he.

He unlocked the door, and automatically he felt a chill go down his spine. Something was wrong.

"Gerard?" Frank called out. "Gerard, I need to talk to you!"

And then he heard it, ever so slightly. He heard a sob. And it sounded like Bandit.

"Bandit?" he called out. Frank made to go up the stairs. Once he reached the top of it, he was met with a horrible sight.

Gerard was sprawled on the floor, in what looked to be a puddle of his own blood. He was incredibly pale, and seemed to be gasping for air. He was muttering things to Bandit, trying to talk to her. Meanwhile Bandit was kneeling next to him, crying, and seeming unsure of what to do.

Bandit saw Frank and for a moment, almost seemed afraid of him. She whispered tearfully, "Why does evwyone keep hurting daddy?"

Frank went beside Gerard and dropped to his knees. He remembered his cellphone, and immediately got it out to call 911. He reported the emergency and yelled at them to hurry.

"Gerard...what happened?" Frank asked once he had hung up the phone.

"Men..." Gerard gasped out, "...broke in... tried to kill Bandit...I think... I think they knew Lindsey."

"Are they still here?" Frank looked around frantically.

"No…left with… money….spared Bandit…"

"Jesus, this is my fault!" Frank said, starting to cry, "I should have never left you! God Gerard, I'm so sorry!"

"No...not your fault. Sorry...I yelled."

"You have nothing to apologize for babe. Nothing at all."

"…neither… neither do you. You were amazing…"

Frank saw Gerard's breathing was slowing down. His eyelids were beginning to fall. His speech was getting slurred.

"Gerard...Gerard?", he grabbed Gerard's hand and stroked it. "Gerard, c'mon baby, you have to hold on for me! Help is on the way!"

Gerard very lightly tried to shake his head and said, "I think...I think... I need to go now, Frankie..."

"No! NO! You can't go!" Frank wept openly, "I was supposed to save you, dammit!"

"Then...take care….of Bandit for me. You're…a good father Frank. ", Gerard actually attempted to smile at him. Frank brushed his red locks out of his face.

"No...Gee..." Frank rocked back and forth, sobbing like he never had before. "...I love you...please stay Gee."

"Mmm...I love you too Frankie..." Gerard was now nearly whispering, "...best friends forever..."

Frank nodded tearfully "Yes, yes we are."

Gerard closed his eyes, and just as the ambulance could be heard coming up the driveway, Gerard stopped breathing. Gently and silently, Frank knew he had passed. Frank placed a kiss gently on Gerard's lips, completely forgetting that Bandit was watching the display.

Gerard was gone. Frank could only stop himself from crying for just a moment to look up, and see Bandit staring at him with a mixture of confusion and trust.

"Come here." he told her softly. And she allowed Frank to gather her into his arms. He stood and lifted her with him. The EMT's had been ringing the doorbell for quite some by time then. They approached the door, with Bandit's arms ringed tightly around Frank's neck. Frank turned the doorknob, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead of him.

Jamia Iero heard a knock on the door. She was at her mother's house, but her mother wasn't home at the moment. She got up from watching cartoons with Cherry and Lily in the living room and went to go answer it.

She stood in shock upon seeing the man on her doorstep. Frank was standing before her with - Bandit?

"Frank...what on earth..." she started.

"Shh.", Frank held up a finger to her lips. "Let me just speak. Jamia, I love you. Maybe not in the way I did when we first started dating, but I do love you. And if there was any lesson I have learned in my time apart from you, it's that when you love someone, especially when you build a family with them, or a history with them, you just can't throw that away. You just can't give up on that or on them. I don't want to give up on this Jamia. Our relationship is one thing, but I know we both love Cherry and Lily more than anything in the world, and if being a family is what they need right now, then dammit, Jamia, that's what I'm going to do for them. And I know you're willing to do the same. We can work on the other stuff along the way. We need to get out of the forest before we deal with the meadow, you know? So, if you're willing to give me another chance, can we just please try this again? For the kids?"

Jamia was blinking away tears in her eyes by the time he was finished. She took a deep breath and yelled out, "Cherry! Lily! Look who's finally home!"

Squeaky squeals of joy were heard from afar. Frank's heart swelled like a balloon as he saw Cherry and Lily running towards him gleefully. He kneeled down to greet them, and as they yelled simultaneously "Daddy! Daddy! We missed you!" he couldn't stop the tears of joy running down his own face. He picked them both up and they both embraced him best they could, both burying their faces in his neck.

"Hi sweetie!"Jamia smiled down at Bandit and asked her, "You like ice cream, don't 'cha?". Bandit nodded eagerly and Jamia picked her up and brought her into the house. Frank followed suit with Cherry and Lily. And everyone was home at last.

While some people would come to remember this as the terrible tragedy of Gerard Way's family, Frank would remember it as the tale of his two affairs. One that broke his family apart, and one that inspired him to put it back together.

END.

A/N: Oh that wasn't that bad, was it? Well, I did end up changing the ending. Originally, when I had posted the note about the story being a bit sick, I had this other ending in mind. DURING WHICH Bandit was kidnapped by the drug dealer and chopped up into pieces when Gerard found her. Yet, this just felt better.

So I'm out of fic ideas for now. Except maybe a little one shot or two. That and I need to see if I can get this job at my school. So see you guys whenever I think of something next, I guess.

P.S. Here's a link to the song Ghost Love Score. It's quite fantastic, really.

.com/watch?v=0O8e2hMAL6c

Thanks for all the reviews.

Lots of love,

Myren.


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